THE 40 QUESTIONS:
Just like I did the other years, I’ve answered 40 questions that I found on a page that doesn't exist anymore so I don't know who to give credit to for them. This year I've caught up a bit so the post is just a couple of weeks late instead of months! Here are the questions:
1. What did you do in 2018 that you’d never done before?
I visited the worlds (?) biggest recovery community for addicts! It was surreal walking up and down that hill in Italy and hearing about the work they do, truly an experience!
I was home the whole year to recover from wearing myself out, so I guess that's kinda new.
I also helped clean out an apartment after a person passing.
2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Maybe I will make a resolution sometime! Not now though.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
I don't... think so? I hope I'm not forgetting anyone right now.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes, my last living grandparent passed away, my grandfather on my fathers side. We didn't know eachother as much as maybe we should have... but he still was a presence in my life throughout. I'm happy that me, my father and two of my cousins were able to visit him the day before he passed.
5. What countries did you visit?
Italy, and on the way home to Sweden I almost got stuck in Germany for a night but we got the last places on the last plane home.
6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
Income. I was about to write stability but thanks to my parents and stuff I've had quite a stable life the last year... and I've worked to be more stable myself so that I can take on the next chapter of my life that hopefully begins this year! So income and a closer relationship with myself. More freedom and room to breathe so that I can make my life and hopefully my friends lives better!
7. What date from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Seems like my calender is wiped? I don't really etch dates into my memory in that way. But Two important dates that I don't remember exactly when they happened was of course when we were finished with our graduation thesis in school and the funeral. Another moment I remember were when I went to a Melissa Horn concert on my own!
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I've made great progress getting back to functioning, and getting help for that might've been the biggest hurdle I cleared!
9. What was your biggest failure?
I think I
don't have that many like... momentous occasions... but I feel like
I've failed to be patient with some of my friends and rather than
listen got irritated sometimes... I dunno if it's deserved or
not.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well if you count burn-out... and stomach issues... then yes! Also threw up again, once every other year is by far more than I've done the last decade.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Well if you count burn-out... and stomach issues... then yes! Also threw up again, once every other year is by far more than I've done the last decade.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
My
Nintendo Switch, definetly.
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
My cousin
that helped with everything after my grandfathers passing. Some of my
friends had kind of a nice impact on me and kept me happier than I
would've been too, even though maybe I even needed a little more of
that in general.
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Some
people with horrible political views in my own country! On my
facebook too! I feel dread that people take anecdotal evidence and
extrapolate a lot of hate from that.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Food, I
think. I ordered so much pizza during the year. I mean the Switch was
pretty expensive but I really do think that the food might've added
up over time.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Meeting some friends I think, like going to Stockholm just to meet a friend that was moving to Mexico (she's back in Sweden already though) and other less grand stuff like that, like hanging out with my friends in town. Also the Melissa Horn concert of course. Meeting people I like really impact me positively.
16. What song will always remind you of 2018?
Well,
eventhough On the low by Tove Styrke, Trointeduärnåt City by Markus
Krunegård and You & Jennifer by bülow have been on repeat I
have to give it to Who wants to live forever by Queen, because it was
the perfect song for my grandfathers funeral and it impacted me
greatly.
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. happier or sadder?
Happier, I've gone through one whole year of trying to improve my health and mental state so yeah!
II. thinner or fatter?
Fatter? I lost some weight during the year but I think it's all back... with a vengence!!!
III. richer or poorer?
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
I. happier or sadder?
Happier, I've gone through one whole year of trying to improve my health and mental state so yeah!
II. thinner or fatter?
Fatter? I lost some weight during the year but I think it's all back... with a vengence!!!
III. richer or poorer?
Poorer
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Being patient with myself, having energy to do stuff.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stress myself out when there really were no musts. I think I could've done an even better job recovering.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it at my cousin's without my cousin. He has moved to my town now and had to work during Christmas, but it was ok nonetheless with my other relatives.
21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
We had the tenth HN (Honor of the Nerds) tournament! It was really fun, I ran it and participated and won.
22. Did you fall in love in 2018?
I wouldn't say that, no. But I've been thinking about throwing myself out there more.
18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Being patient with myself, having energy to do stuff.
19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Stress myself out when there really were no musts. I think I could've done an even better job recovering.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent it at my cousin's without my cousin. He has moved to my town now and had to work during Christmas, but it was ok nonetheless with my other relatives.
21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?
We had the tenth HN (Honor of the Nerds) tournament! It was really fun, I ran it and participated and won.
22. Did you fall in love in 2018?
I wouldn't say that, no. But I've been thinking about throwing myself out there more.
23. How many one-night stands?
0
24. What was your favorite TV program?
I guess it was Så mycket bättre. I didn't really enjoy all that much tv.
25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Don't really think so, no.
26. What was the best book you read?
I read some of the short stories in Ted Chiangs Your life and others, I think that was it for me reading this year.
27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Either Albin Lee Meldau or... nah, it must be Linus Hasselberg, it feels different and so right!
28. What did you want and got?
I did get some love from my friends after all, and I got better relationships with my family! Help, also, some professional help to get better.
29. What did you want and not get?
A faster recovery, lasting stability, more meaning in my life.
30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Welp... as a gigant Marvel fan... it has to be Avengers: Infinity War, with Black Panther and (surprisingly enough) Into the Spiderverse in close 2nd and 3rd.
31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I actually had friends over the whole weekend! Video games on friday, marvel marathon on saturday and board games on sunday! Yay!
32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Human warmth, both in my personal life and politically.
33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
Lounging around.
34. What kept you sane?
Trying to find my center and stillness. Tried some meditation. And saw some friends.
35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Always kind of a weird question... Scrolling through my Youtube video history for many minutes and still only reaching a couple of months back before quitting would seem to suggest maybe like... Orla Gartland, AOC and Alicia Wikander or something like that. I mostly like them for their music, politics and performances and such though... but yeah, they seem genuine and sweet. Strictly by looking at the people who show up the most would suggest like.. Trump and the TYT crew but yeah no, I don't really fancy em that much... Although more seriously, Pokemon Go youtuber Trainer Tips maybe should make the list too, hadn't really thought about it that way but yeah, he seems sweet and nice... anyway, I've spent too much time on this question that I don't really take seriously haha.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
See point
13 I think. How our country treats people who are seeking asylum and
are fleeing hell is appaling! I want a more humane politics but
unfortunately our country is going in a more rightleaning direction
at the moment, it's so stupid.
37. Who did you miss?
37. Who did you miss?
Some
friends mostly... for different parts of the year or something like
that.
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I can't think that I really met that many new people. Maybe some young people in UNF or something like that, I like that there are passionate people that will drive the future. But no... I could argue that some people that I've known for longer but now become friends that I hang out and play board games with sometimes might deserve a mention here instead, I really like hanging out and playing some games with the three of them :).
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018:
Recovering takes time, it's important to try to care for yourself.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Like earlier years I will try to use ”only” 5 songs.
Bye bye fina tider, du får gå vart än du vill
Men bara om du lovar att det är för att du vill
Om det nånstans bottnar i att du faktiskt är rädd
För att släppa in mig, ja då är det inte rätt
38. Who was the best new person you met?
I can't think that I really met that many new people. Maybe some young people in UNF or something like that, I like that there are passionate people that will drive the future. But no... I could argue that some people that I've known for longer but now become friends that I hang out and play board games with sometimes might deserve a mention here instead, I really like hanging out and playing some games with the three of them :).
39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018:
Recovering takes time, it's important to try to care for yourself.
40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Like earlier years I will try to use ”only” 5 songs.
Bye bye fina tider, du får gå vart än du vill
Men bara om du lovar att det är för att du vill
Om det nånstans bottnar i att du faktiskt är rädd
För att släppa in mig, ja då är det inte rätt
Att
du lämnar denna sommar och att du nu lämnar mig
Jag tycker ärligt talat att jag knappt har rört vid dig
Jag skulle vilja kämpa för att få dig att förstå
Men vill du inget hellre är det klart att du får gå
Jag tycker ärligt talat att jag knappt har rört vid dig
Jag skulle vilja kämpa för att få dig att förstå
Men vill du inget hellre är det klart att du får gå
Men
det gör ju lite ont och så
Men
inte ska du bry dig att mitt hjärta gör ont
Nej, lämna det åt mig du
Jag har det hellre ont än tomt
Men tänk att jag aldrig lär mig att ta det lite varligt nej
Jag följer hellre hoppet och tror att allting ordnar sig
Nej, lämna det åt mig du
Jag har det hellre ont än tomt
Men tänk att jag aldrig lär mig att ta det lite varligt nej
Jag följer hellre hoppet och tror att allting ordnar sig
Jag
vet att du är fin och att det inte kan vara lätt
Att söka efter svaret och den någon som är rätt
När alla tankar talar och alla minnen vill se på
Men ditt livs största misstag kan vara att du lät mig gå
Att söka efter svaret och den någon som är rätt
När alla tankar talar och alla minnen vill se på
Men ditt livs största misstag kan vara att du lät mig gå
När
en blivit liten
Och tvivlet blivit stort
Då vill en bara famnas
Då vill en bara famnas
Och tvivlet blivit stort
Då vill en bara famnas
Då vill en bara famnas
När
en blivit liten
Och tvivlet blivit stort
Då vill en bara famnas
Då vill en bara famnas
Och tvivlet blivit stort
Då vill en bara famnas
Då vill en bara famnas
Visst
är det lite sorgligt att du fastän du har ett val
Inte ser min godhet som någonting du vill ha kvar
En dag ska du sitta och se hur livet drog förbi
Då kommer du att ångra att livet inte blev ett vi
Inte ser min godhet som någonting du vill ha kvar
En dag ska du sitta och se hur livet drog förbi
Då kommer du att ångra att livet inte blev ett vi
Och
det gör ju lite ont och så
Till
slutet av augusti by Moonica Mac
Hösten
kom och dränkte mig i sorg
Sköljde bort allt hopp
Blåste bort min ork
Sköljde bort allt hopp
Blåste bort min ork
Mörkret
kom, kröp ner i mina lungor
Det försvinner om jag sjunger
Men jag har glömt hur man gör
Det försvinner om jag sjunger
Men jag har glömt hur man gör
Brukar
aldrig tveka
Brukar möta alla blickar
Jag har varit den som lyssnar och förstår
Brukar möta alla blickar
Jag har varit den som lyssnar och förstår
Mitt
leende har bleknat
Och jag hoppas ingen tittar
För jag är rädd att någon ska fråga hur jag mår
Och jag hoppas ingen tittar
För jag är rädd att någon ska fråga hur jag mår
Nån
måste rädda mig
Men vill inte be nån
Hjälpa mig upp igen
Det som aldrig skulle hända mig
Kan inte ställa mig upp igen
Inte själv
Men vill inte be nån
Hjälpa mig upp igen
Det som aldrig skulle hända mig
Kan inte ställa mig upp igen
Inte själv
Sorgen
kom och lovade att stanna
Och tårarna att falla på heder och samvete
Och tårarna att falla på heder och samvete
Dagen
kom då jag slutade försöka
Finns väll ingen som vill höra
Finns väll ingen som vill höra
Sånt
dom redan visste om
Brukar
aldrig tveka
Brukar möta alla blickar
Jag har varit den som lyssnar och förstår
Mitt leende har bleknat och jag hoppas ingen tittar
För jag är rädd att någon ska fråga hur jag mår
Brukar möta alla blickar
Jag har varit den som lyssnar och förstår
Mitt leende har bleknat och jag hoppas ingen tittar
För jag är rädd att någon ska fråga hur jag mår
Nån
måste rädda mig
Men vill inte be nån hjälpa mig upp igen
Det som aldrig skulle hända mig
Kan inte ställa mig upp igen
Nån måste rädda mig
Men vill inte be nån hjälpa mig upp igen
Det som aldrig skulle hända mig
Kan inte ställa mig upp igen
Nån måste rädda mig
Men vill inte be nån hjälpa mig upp igen
Det som aldrig skulle hända mig
Kan inte ställa mig upp igen
Inte själv
Men vill inte be nån hjälpa mig upp igen
Det som aldrig skulle hända mig
Kan inte ställa mig upp igen
Nån måste rädda mig
Men vill inte be nån hjälpa mig upp igen
Det som aldrig skulle hända mig
Kan inte ställa mig upp igen
Nån måste rädda mig
Men vill inte be nån hjälpa mig upp igen
Det som aldrig skulle hända mig
Kan inte ställa mig upp igen
Inte själv
Upp
igen by Jenny Wall
What if you were born a thousand miles from me
Cross the mountains and the sea
And were brought up in a town I didn't know
A hundred years ago
Then I had never found my ways
I'd stumble in the dark
Cause darling it's a lightless sky
If you're not here to bring out the stars
What
if you were to decide you'd go away
And not a word could make you stay
Then I would lie about how glad I was for you
Trying something new
If we would never be no more
I would fall apart
Oh darling it's a lightless sky
If you're not here to bring out the stars
And not a word could make you stay
Then I would lie about how glad I was for you
Trying something new
If we would never be no more
I would fall apart
Oh darling it's a lightless sky
If you're not here to bring out the stars
I
know that I am not the easiest
I know that I can be a mess to figure out
I know that I have done you wrong sometimes
But in the end I hope you know there is no doubt
If the world is coming down on you
There's not a thing I wouldn't do for you
I know that I can be a mess to figure out
I know that I have done you wrong sometimes
But in the end I hope you know there is no doubt
If the world is coming down on you
There's not a thing I wouldn't do for you
I
remember having dreams when I was young
Now that confidence is gone
And I'm afraid it's even worse than it appears
I've lost it through the years
So help me get it back somehow
Lead me through the dark
Oh darling it's a lightless sky
If you're not here to bring out the stars
Oh darling it's a lightless sky
If you're not here to bring out the stars
Now that confidence is gone
And I'm afraid it's even worse than it appears
I've lost it through the years
So help me get it back somehow
Lead me through the dark
Oh darling it's a lightless sky
If you're not here to bring out the stars
Oh darling it's a lightless sky
If you're not here to bring out the stars
Stars
by Traveling John
18.30, 4 April
Jag äter middag
Med
mina barn
18.30,
4 April
Du
kliver i båten
Med
dina barn
Oooh
18.30, 4 April
18.30, 4 April
Jag
tittar på TV
Med
mina barn
18.30,
4 April
Du
sitter på havet
Med
dina barn
Oooh
Oooh
Bababababa
Babababa,
baba
Bababababa
Babababababa
Bababababa
Babababababa
Bababababa
Babababababa
Gränsen
måste dras nånstans,
Det
tror jag du förstår
Vi
måste hålla reda på
Var
gränsen går
Gränsen
måste dras nånstans
Så're
känns OK
Och
nu har vi dragit den
Mellan dig och mig
Mellan dig och mig
Bababababa
Babababababa
Bababababa
Babababababa
Bababababa
Babababababa
Bababababa
Babababababa
18.30,
4 April
Du
sjunker till botten
Med
dina barn
18.30
by Doktor Kosmos
I Hallstavik bor det en tant
Hon har ett hus en hund och en man
Hon gillar mat och hon trivs med sitt liv
Och hon vill dö i Hallstavik
I Hallstavik bor det en tant
Hon har ett hus en hund och en man
Hon gillar mat och hon trivs med sitt liv
Och hon vill dö i Hallstavik
I Simrishamn bor en ung man
Ibland är han glad och ibland är han arg
Det var bättre förr säger han tvär
Fast han är ung och inte var där
Det bor en man i Farsta Strand
Han har flyttat hit ifrån främmande land
Han har fått ett jobb men han gråter ibland
Var gång han tänker på sitt barn som försvann
I Askersund bor en ung tjej
Hon jobbar hårt och har bränt ut sig
Vill resa bort till solen ett tag
Hitta sig själv och bara må bra
Det bor ett barn i Värnamo
Hon har börjat gå och kan några ord
Mamman är stolt och vill gärna att
Hennes dotter blir allt det som hon aldrig vart
En gammal man i Argeplog han träffade en ny sedan Monica dog
Den nya är präst och han heter Dan
De sågs på en fest, nu ska de ha barn
Å här bor jag å här bor du
Å hon å han vi är ett land
Ja här bor jag å här bor du
Å hon å han
Vi är ett land
I
ett land by Fröken Elvis
END-18 THE ONES LAST YEAR AWARDS!
I'm doing these awards again this year, yes. I'll be telling you my favourite in several different categories and a runner up.. in other words 2 titles/people/whatever wins in each category! There's not really any order to the two in each category so both win equally.
BEST ALBUM 2018
“I huvet på en idiot, i en bar, på en ö, i ett hav, på en ö, i en bar, i huvudet på en idiot” by Markus Krunegård.
Honestly, I've been bopping more to Markusevangeliet, an earlier album of his, this year. I haven't listened to that many albums that I've liked, compared to last year, the field was considerably weaker. However! There are some songs I really like on this album and Trointeduärnå City is such a great song! It's one of two songs that I've really pulled out if people asked me to play a song during the year, the other one is on the other album that I wanna celebrate with this award! I like O A O A E vi förlorade, Så också i Finspång and Ringvägen too. Ta en dusch is a song that I don't really like the sound of but I like the lyrics, my problem with this album overall is the sound it seems to go for, it's not really my cup of tea when the voice almost blend in with the brazen instrument at times. I do think that Ringvägen hits the perfect middleground between that kind of sound and groovy melodies. Overall, I do like it but the strenght of some of the songs really carries it for me and my baseline appreciation for Markus music is so high that even meh-albums is great in comparison to other stuff for me. Ben kött & känsler is a good finish also.
“Sway” by Tove Styrke
I mean
yeeeeees! This has me moving! This is kind of the opposite of the
other winner in this category. I reaaaally liked some of Tove Styrkes
music before but I think this might be my favorite so far. It's so
great! I'd even give the songs that I'm not that into a 7 out of 10
(Like Mistakes, Vibe and Sway, although the last one might be an 8).
The only real low point in my opinion is I Lied, I don't mind the
plastic, computery sound if the melody and the song overall justyfies
it and rocks, but I don't feel that the song moves me at all
unfortunately. On a level is an 8 and a half and the rest is 9-10s, I
really like Changed My Mind, the chorus that goes from singing to the
quick phrase “I changed my mind” is so beautiful, Say My Name has
me really bouncing in my seat and then we reach liability (demo) that
is so delicate and beautiful and the minimalistic instrumentation is
so fragile and strong at the same time, the lyrics really echo and
it's awesome, I really think that it's got more layers than Lordes
original take on the song, it feels like Lorde just sings it
straightforward while I still hear the emotion in Toves version, but
it feels like it's trying to veil it. But nothing compares to On the
Low... it's really been my jam this year, it's soooooo oooo o
gooooood!! It shares the qualities of the clear lyrics and the
grooving beats of some of the other great songs on this album.
Aaaaah, it's so great! Thanks Tove Styrke.
BEST GAME 2018
Super
Smash Brothers Ultimate
I'm a huge Smash fan and this is almost all I could've asked for! I do wish I got the time to play even more in person with my friends but yeah... this is a package that will be hard to surpass in the future, I'm just going to enjoy it.
I'm a huge Smash fan and this is almost all I could've asked for! I do wish I got the time to play even more in person with my friends but yeah... this is a package that will be hard to surpass in the future, I'm just going to enjoy it.
Dragon
Ball FighterZ
Yeah,
Pokémon Let's Go was alright, but there really wasn't that much
competition, Soul Calibur VI was the only real challanger for me for
the second place but DBFZ is such a greater feat in my eyes. It also
feels like the developers really tried to make it as good as it could
be while SCVI feels under-funded, I really wish they'd get as many
resources as Tekken. As it is, DBFZ pulls of the feat of interesting
me more even though I traditionally like 3d fighters a whole lot
more, I even got into watching the pro scene for a while this year,
DBFZ is such a great game. Also, I didn't get to play Super Mario
Party, that is the only game I could see that would've challanged
DBFZ for this place but I don't know if that would've done it either,
so great work!
BEST ANIME 2018
My hero Academia season 3
BEST ANIME 2018
My hero Academia season 3
Well, it
started off good in season one... but season 2 was awesome and 3 just
kept it up, even almost pushing it a bit beyond... so keeping that
level of quality really just makes me more and more hype the longer
they manage to hold that consistency.
Megalo Box
One Piece
is the only one I watch at the moment but due to it's pacing it is
just ok and the base floor for me, so when I get to watch other
things at the same time, I usually end up prefering them. Megalo Box
was close, it's not really my typical series but I liked it quite a
bit, it had a simple plot, and a bit of heart and it was charming
:).
BEST MOVIE 2018
Avengers: Infinity War
I already talked about it. It was... amazing, it made me unable to speak for a couple of minutes after.
Black Panther
Black Panther just barely beat out Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse. I feel they're both great at what they do and they surprised me with how much I like them both! Black Panther is so great, I especially love the characters that really only needs one showing to become endearing favorites! I think of M'baku and Shuri most of all but also how cool Killmonger and Okoye are. All that combined with stunning visuals, a heartfelt conflict at the center of the movie and a likeable lead, it was really nice!
Awards taken out from last year:
BEST MOVIE 2018
Avengers: Infinity War
I already talked about it. It was... amazing, it made me unable to speak for a couple of minutes after.
Black Panther
Black Panther just barely beat out Spider-man: Into the Spider-verse. I feel they're both great at what they do and they surprised me with how much I like them both! Black Panther is so great, I especially love the characters that really only needs one showing to become endearing favorites! I think of M'baku and Shuri most of all but also how cool Killmonger and Okoye are. All that combined with stunning visuals, a heartfelt conflict at the center of the movie and a likeable lead, it was really nice!
Awards taken out from last year:
None,
these are the ones that feel relevant for now.
If you happen to have any award that you feel I should’ve given out, tell me! If anybody suggests something in the comments I could give out more awards next year.
That was another year, and now I give you; the song of today:
The song of today:
On the low by Tove Styrke
Yeah, I don't think I've had Tove Styrke on here before? I love this song as you know by now. It moves me in more ways than one, musically, lyrically, emotionally and I've seldom heard longing expressed so clearly.
If you happen to have any award that you feel I should’ve given out, tell me! If anybody suggests something in the comments I could give out more awards next year.
That was another year, and now I give you; the song of today:
The song of today:
On the low by Tove Styrke
Yeah, I don't think I've had Tove Styrke on here before? I love this song as you know by now. It moves me in more ways than one, musically, lyrically, emotionally and I've seldom heard longing expressed so clearly.
I'm a bit
late this year too but I've improved, see you next year, hopefully
actually around new years but we'll see!
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